an epiphyte is a plant that grows without soil. its roots pull water out of the air and nutrients out of the trees it grows on. it needs a community to thrive, but its community is nontraditional. it lives on unexpected connections.
“I swear to god, Steve, I will drop the PASIV out of this fucking window if you don’t tell me RIGHT NOW why you thought taking this goddamn job was a good idea, what with Bucky running around our heads trying to shoot us out of our dreams.”
“Can’t you feel it, Clint? You’re antsy. We’re all antsy. We’ve been the best dreamshare team there is out there since Cobb’s disbanded, and we haven’t gone under in over a year.”
Avengers Inception AU→ wherein Thor of Odin Corp. hires Steve Rogers’ elite dreamsharing team to perform inception on his brother, Loki, and a shade of their ex-resident thief Bucky (who was killed when the team’s last job went horribly wrong) tries his best to sabotage it.
Or: Steve extracts, Tony builds, Clint runs point, Natasha’s a master of impersonation, Bruce concocts, Thor’s a tourist, and things happen.
1. Perfect World - The Emperor’s New Groove - Tony He was born and raised to rule, no-one has ever been this cool 2. I Just Can’t Wait To Be King - The Lion King - Thor I’m gonna be a mighty king, so enemies beware. 3. Zero To Hero - Hercules - Steve He’s got the moxie, brains and spunk; Zero to hero, a major hunk. 4. The Mob Song - Beauty and the Beast - Bruce It’s a beast, one as tall as a mountain / We won’t rest ‘til he’s good and deceased 5. Go The Distance - Hercules - Thor I know every mile will be worth my while, I will go most anywhere to find where I belong. 6. Be Prepared - The Lion King - Loki Meticulous planning, tenacity spanning / decades of denial, is simply why I’ll / be king undisputed, respected, saluted, and seen for the wonder I am. 7. Awakening - Sleeping Beauty - Steve (Instrumental) 8. Friends On The Other Side - The Princess and the Frog - Loki & Chitauri And when I look into your future it’s the green that I see. 9. Bein’ Green - The Muppets - Bruce When I think it could be nicer being red, or yellow, or gold /Or something much more colorful like that 10. A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes - Cinderella - Steve No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will come true. 11. Friend Like Me - Aladdin - Tony I’m in the mood to help you, dude, you ain’t never had a friend like me. 12. One Last Hope - Hercules - Nick Fury You’re my one last hope, so you’ll have to do. 13. Tale As Old As Time - Beauty and The Beast - Steve/Tony Bittersweet and strange, finding you can change, learning you were wrong. 14. I Won’t Say I’m In Love - Hercules - Tony If there’s a prize for rotten judgement, I guess I’ve already won that. 15. Once Upon a December - Anastasia - Natasha Far away, long ago, glowing dim as an ember, things my heart used to know, things it yearns to remember. 16. I’ll Make A Man Out of You - Mulan - Avengers (“Suit up”) We must be swift as a coursing river / with all the force of a great typhoon /with all the strength of a raging fire / mysterious as the dark side of the moon. 17. He’s A Pirate - Pirates of the Caribbean - Clint (Instrumental) 18. Son of Man - Tarzan - Tony In learning you will teach, and in teaching you will learn; you’ll take your place beside the ones you love. 19. A Whole New World - Aladdin - Tony/Steve A whole new world (“don’t you dare close your eyes”) A hundred thousand things to see (“hold your breath it gets better”) I’m like a shooting star, I’ve come so far, I can’t go back to where I used to be. 20. A Star Is Born - Hercules - Avengers So don’t lose hope when you’re forlorn: just keep your eyes, upon the skies.
(Note: Yes, I know Anastasia isn’t Disney, but, shh.)
Once upon a time, there came a day, a day unlike any other… when Earth’s mightiest heroes found themselves united against a common threat… to fight the foes no single superhero could withstand… on that day, The Avengers were born.
YES OH MY GOD THIS IS BETTER. I mean I love Nick Fury as Mr. Bubbles more. Totally fits. yes. good.
By near-unanimous agreement, if post-mission coffee occurs, it’s at Starbucks. The reason for this is simple: if they all went where they reallywanted to go, they’d be scattered all over the city, and Steve is adamant that they bond. Bruce likes small, intimate places with lost of rugs and gentle music and the smell of incense. Steve likes diners and cafés where he can chat with the staff and stay for hours and maybe get some pankcakes. Clint and Natasha don’t really care, Thor hasn’t been on Earth long enough to develop a preference, and the kind of places Tony likes are out of everyone’s price range.
Basic black Americano, no sugar. Steve will drink pretty much any coffee regardless of quality; he’s used to reheated week-old tar from his army days, and if he’s really honest, he misses it. He sometimes sneaks along sachets of powdered milk on occasion for nostalgia’s sake. No matter how many times Tony explains about inflation, he is still shocked at the idea of paying several dollars for coffee.
Espresso. Known to add shots of espresso to his espresso. Would probably inject the stuff into his veins or bathe his eyeballs in it if the team weren’t watching him closely, because Tony doesn’t sleep. It has been hypothesised that the amount of caffeine in Tony’s system at any one time is enough to kill a medium-sized monkey.
Rarely drinks coffee; on the occasions he does, it’s usually a South American blend. His travels around the world have given him varied tastes and a fondness for herbal teas. His favourite, however, is green tea, and he drinks gallons of the stuff daily.
Figures if she’s going to have to spend a few dollars on a beverage, she should get her money’s worth. She tries to get something different every time, but is especially fond of chai lattes.
Has an awful, incurable sweet tooth. Goes crazy for syrups. Will come up with horrific concoctions that would destroy a lesser man: his teammates watch in fascination as he guzzles choco-hazelnut-caramel-lattes with shots of espresso, whipped cream and cinnamon. Bruce wants to study his metabolism. Tony dares him to chug.
NOT ALLOWED COFFEE. There is no caffeine on Asgard. The team are still trying to break him of the habit of throwing down his mugs when finished; as a result, he gets plastic cups of low-caffeine frappuchinos, caramel or strawberries and cream, or hot chocolate. Expounds loudly and at great length on his love of mini marshmallows. Most attempts at keeping Thor away from caffeine are thwarted by Clint, who secretly slips him sips of his Frankencoffee when no-one’s looking.